the sacred nature of grief

grief freaking sucks. often when we are in the thick of it, it is close to impossible to even fathom the hidden gems and remedies it holds within the deep waters.

& it’s important to be with the process that is emergent.

yet, if you are with grief long enough, something extraordinarily beautiful has space to emerge.

because if you have known grief, you have known love.

you have known life. you have known the world through an open heart. through connection.

facing down loss or death creates the contrast to the heartbeat of our life. gratitude, presence, and reverence can emerge.

and do not get me wrong… i am not here to tell you to be grateful and ‘love & light’ your way through grief. that is not a realistic or healthy relationship to have with loss.

i am here to share that along the journey of grief, there is an opportunity for life to deepen. with care, tending, grief therapy, community, and healing arts… a holding is possible to open us beyond the despair.

for so much of western society, (thanks to capitalism, white supremacy, patriarchy…) individuals are left to their own devices in grief. our culture lacks the ritual, ceremony, community, and connection that is inherent with the cycle of life and death. this lack of holding or even acknowledgement of death and our mortality is incredibly damaging. we get lost in the survival of day to day, lost in the denial of mortality, lost in a fast-paced life.

but grief will knock you down to the earth. a reminder of the inevitable truth that our time here is limited, our relationships end, that change is the only constant.

when able to lift your head above the waters of grief, there can be a perspective into recognizing the unique human experience of life on earth. after a big grief wave, a cry that rattles the center of your bones… coming out of it the colors can look brighter, the eyes of others more vivid, & an exhale can make its way through into taking in the next moment with a raw state of existence.

grief, is sacred.

i believe that grief is the medicine to remind us to cherish our loved ones & to love despite knowing it’ll all come to pass. in a given moment, the contrast of life and death can become so much more present and awareness can deepen of the simultaneous nature of the two.

it takes time… grief can have us underwater for days, weeks, years… and while being underwater, there is no way to catch a breath and find the gratitude or awe. that is okay. yet remaining a companion to grief (inevitably) for time to come… you may begin to see the edges of this sacred nature. a reminder to slow down and really, actually, yes— smell those roses.

smell the lavender and dried dead leaves and salt water air.

to tell the people in your life how much you adore them, how they impact you, how dear they are to you.

to make the change that your soul is beckoning for.

to experience the full spectrum of life that is often stolen from us by late-stage capitalism and the hustle.

grief, is sacred. yes. and some of the deepest pain we could possibly feel. it is all of it. ebbing and flowing and ebbing and flowing. reminding us of the rhythms and cycles that have been abandoned. there is space to reclaim it. your life is a life worth living despite the inevitable death that awaits us all. what else is there to do?